I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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