I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
