so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He felt like a one man threesome
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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