Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
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It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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