he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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