How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
He has the fingertips of a God
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
