Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize