My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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