I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
