How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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