Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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