i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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