My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
