Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
