She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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