dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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