super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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