...so i touched it.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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