Ambien. No doubt about it.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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