I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish I only lived at night.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
