Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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