the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
