Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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