then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
