im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
