booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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