I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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