yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
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