I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
