I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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