Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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