i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
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He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
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On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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