I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
