I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
