I think I just saw someone hide a body.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
