we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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