I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
