i think i have herpe
just one?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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