i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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