It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
