I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
