Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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