We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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