Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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