who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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