we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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