I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
