are you still at the devil's house?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
