You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
