covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
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Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
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Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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