gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
