I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
organizing the empties. That sober.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
