It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
