her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
