butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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