i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
