If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize