no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
