plz talk dirty to me
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
