I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
