if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
