As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
a search helicopter?!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
