I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
