hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
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