Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
