You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
