He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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