on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
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he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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