how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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