Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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