I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Also, beer. Big fan.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
