I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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