Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
